I am Broke Mama, also known as Leann

Disclaimer: I curse like a sailor and have a very sarcastic sense of humor. This blog reflects that, so if language scares you, RUN!

I am just an OK mom. And I’m fine with that most of the time. It’s a hoot, sort of.

So … here’s my life in a nutshell.

My life sucks. Seriously, like literally. It would make one hell of a soap opera. Luckily, I’m not one of those teen mama dramas. I was well into my mid-20s when I popped out my two little ones … natural by the way, and it hurt like a mother heffer.

The first one? His dad knocked me up, and I knocked him down as in kicked him out my door and haven’t seen him except in court. He hasn’t seen his son or wanted to see him since he was just shy of two years old. Gray was an 8 pound, 2 ounce and 20-inch screamer that had a 15 inch head. Imagine a bowling ball through a keyhole and you get the image. Forty-seven stitches and several sitz baths later, yeah, I don’t even want to think about that one.

The second one? Tried to make a life work with his dad, but that didn’t happen. Rooty now lives with his dad, but I keep up with him as much as I can, and it works. Rooty was born roughly five weeks early weighing in at a whopping 6 pounds and 3 ounces and 19 ½ inches long. He was born early because my body decided it was time to evict the little booger by cutting off his free food supply. Five minutes and three pushes, and he was out. Easy peasy and barely any scarring.

Wait what?

Stop the presses! Do what?!

Yes, I’m a baby mama with two baby daddys. And I’m not a trailer whore, a methhead or a high school dropout. Actually college educated, but I made mistakes, and I got two beautiful little boys and life lessons from my errors in judgement.

Do I want more kids? I would have liked one more, but the Big Man Upstairs deemed it not so, and I had to have some minor surgeries six weeks after Rooty was born. Sprinkle in medical issues with Gray and two years of doctors appointments between the two of us? Yeah … no more bouncing, puking bundles of joy in my future.

So now to the squeezy nuts and bolts, I’m a single mom of a special needs, mostly goofball little boy.

Since Rooty technically lives with his dad, and I know the dude would shit a golden legalese brick over it, Rooty won’t be making many appearances here. Gray will be the bulk, and I’ll be the rest. But why me? Because, I’m FABULOUS!!! No really, my shit even glitters and sparkles, and I fart roses. Just kidding. I stink sometimes, because I have so much going on I might get lucky to take a quick dip in the tub at 4 a.m. before I have to literally fling Gray out of bed and make him wake up.

Maybe you caught on to the fact that Gray is special needs. He has these awesome super powers called autism, ADHD, and a rare chromosome disorder that powers it all. Blame me, the mama, he got from me. Even got the blue eyes and blonde hair, even though his daddy is as dark as homemade sin. He sometimes even blanks out like he’s computing, and his eyes even roll back. Gray does this, not his dad. Kind of scary to the onlooker who has never seen a seizure.

Starting the journey

I started this blog as a way to chronicle my life as a single, special needs mom living in the ass end of the country. We’ve had the several diagnoses for a long time now, but sometimes it’s hard to adjust to the fact that one of my kids is just a little different. I also suffer from severe depression and self-doubt, but it likes to mask itself as laziness and me acting like a bitch sometimes. My hope is that my stories and life will hopefully inspire and help some other mom who might be new on the same path of life.

A little more about me

I can be a complete goofball. I have the personality that you absolutely either fall in love with me or you hate my guts. I love to write and have several novels written, but I’m too scared to let them see the light of day right now. I used to be a caffeine addict (can we say two pots of coffee by myself in a day?), but over the last few years I’ve cut it down to the occasional cup of coffee, some sweet tea, but mostly water.

Maybe y’all can join me on this journey. I can’t say stones won’t be thrown, but maybe we can weather them together. Share your heart, and I’ll share mine. Until then, live, laugh, love.